So begins our story....
(Photo of Castle Beersel by James)
"I have such fond
memories of this magical place ....
to look at it here, it brings back such wonderful memories.. ..
and although it's ruins, if you close your eyes and dream,
you can imagine a time when there were occupants...
servants...royalty...horses...wild geese bathing in the moats...
and goats chewing at the tall grass that grows along the water's edge....
among the trees you can hear the sounds of the wind gently rustling through the leaves..
it's such a magical place...now close you eyes and
imagine for yourself, this magical place..."
closing my eyes..
I see, you lived there...
It's where you came out galloping with your horse..
when you appeared before me magically from the woods..."
"Yes...and my horse was golden brown with a mane of dark black, long hair...
strong muscles abound.."
March 3, 1998
I could journey among the galaxies of stars...
I could fathom the depth of the seas...
I could hold love to possess me,
bewitch me, imprison me...
yes, I'm dreaming
aching for you...
T'was past the midnight
hour in Japan, the children had gone to sleep,
yet my mind was still lingering on. I had been like this for quite a long
time. Sleep has not been one of my habits. I would just stare at
my PC desktop, hoping the night would conquer me. Then, I thought
of opening my NetMeeting. It was nearly 2:00AM. Still, I didn't know
what or why I was anxious everynight, as if I was waiting or looking
for something or someone. And then the NetMeeting phone rang....
Oh... you were so blinding!! You appeared in my desktop filled with
bright light! I felt like I was seeing an angel coming down from heaven.
And as you were typing , I could feel the warmth in your words.
You said that you're checking your video to see if it worked alright.
After some comforting introductory Hellos! and Goodbye's ! , you promised
you would be back the next night mytime. And I remember, eagerness
crept my heart... And then came the night....
(This is our first
successful NM Chat, the very first being bugged by
video problems... It was based on Japan time)
...I can very well
remember how you tilted your head to make that
unforgettable gorgeous smile. Remember I even told my friends that
you have the loveliest of smiles? Tsups!! for you.... When you had
your ICQ installed, I was thankful that you thought of me and since
then, we became friends, but not for long... because within the
week, we were already falling in love! But sad as it was, I had to
get back to my family in the Philippines for a month's vacation...It brought
so much grief with both of us. We'd been together everynight and everyday,
how could we last a month without each other?
" it didn't take long for me to start feeling a sort of connection with you...
maybe even after a few conversations...
I remember you told me you were going away for your holiday
in the Phillipines to be with your family...
I thought, 'well, okey...I'll just see you when you return'...
but it wasn't okey...
I was devastated when you left me...
I'd become so dependant on your company by then...
I've never felt this way about someone else and it really surprised me...
so I wrote you...even though you weren't there, I wrote...
it made me feel better somehow just knowing my words
were collecting with intent of your reading upon your return."
But we had passed that
test... And we owe it to the strength of our
love right from the very start. Tsups!! for you...
After many days of being
together virtually almost every minute, there
came our natural desire to see each other for real. And we set the date on
January 2, 1998... Oh! It was just after New Year, and it seemed to
be like the birth of a new life for me, a wish come true!
I'll be seeing my Prince!
And I found myself in
America, an unfamiliar country, getting out of the airplane,
anxious and bewildered by the overwhelming new things around, but
very certain of one fact: I WANT TO SEE YOU!
" I noticed her immediately as she walked out of the plane...
I couldn't miss those beautiful eyes and smiling face of hers....
my heart was beating so very fast!!!..."
(message to a friend describing to her our first meeting)
I was mesmerized when
you ran to me with big open arms
and flowers in your hands. Oh! That was our first embrace
and I was very comfortable in your arms...It was as if they
were molded for me and I fitted right. I felt that I had finally come home...
And the rest of the days with you were the happiest moments in my life!
"we acted the same physically together as we do here on the net..
not much different...and we shared our sorrows and joys....it was such
a pleasure that it's so very difficult to explain..."
Yes, remember how we kid
each other that we're twins?
We sometimes type the same words at the same time and
it's truly amazing that even in physical reality, we move,
act, say words, or burst in a song at the same time. We also have
the same shape of hands and feet! And even now, we sense
each other's emotional ups or downs despite our distance.
Then came the parting...It
was the hardest moment in our lives..
It was like coming down to earth again after a brief interlude in
heaven and our souls wouldn't accept this kind of punishment.
I cried and cried on my way home to Japan. Was I in a dream?
I couldn't believe that you were out of my sight and out of my reach!
"Now I know what it
truly means to be touched by an angel.
I can't begin to say how much this weekend has meant to me...
still I'm trembling here...and I pinch myself as I believe I've been
asleep and in the most wonderful dream a man could ever know...
Oh,I feel I've died and been to heaven when I think back....
My body aches to be curled up next to you again... still I feel
the warmth of you...I love you so... I loved you before you arrived...
I loved you even more after we were together and I'll love you
even more in the time to come...my eyes are so filled with tears now...
I can't ever be the same again... I still see all the expressions on your face..
Now all I can do is to want... want for you more than ever...
want you to be by my side... whisper the words, "I love you" in my ear..
like before...I love you so very much... it's really killing me right
now not to be able to hold unto you.. Don't ever give up on us....please..
now I know what you mean when you say you would just die..."
When we parted, it
was then that we realized we couldn't live
without each other. Being physically together for such brief
moments confirms and strengthens our faith in the love we have.
And now as we travelled down the road towards our dream,
we are faced by mountains of obstacles...But we won't be
conquered because we know that our love is far stronger than anyone
could imagine. Yet, we would always remind each other of Patience,
Perseverance and Faith... And the hardest to achieve among them
is Patience! Because I want you now! now! now! ...
and you would say, "Patience, my young grasshopper!"
I would laugh at it and you would always make
me feel better by your love and reassurances...
Thank you for being just the way you are....
Thank you for all the joys you're giving me each and everyday...
Thank you for finding me
And most of all, thank you for loving me...
"I love you, my Prince! Mahal na mahal kita!"
"I love you too, my Princess! Mahal na mahal din kita!"
index of songs
our romance -
pages of our lives
musical digital postcard
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- James and Ness -
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